Engage before you Indulge!

According to Webster dictionary, indulgence means excessive or unrestrained gratification of one’s own desires, appetites, or whims. To engage means to draw unto, involve, or to interlock or mesh, according to Webster dictionary. As individuals we tend to engross ourselves with things that please us and we sometimes fail to acknowledge the benefits or risks associated with the things we deem pleasurable. As relationships are concerned there is a critical need to learn how to engage before partaking in relationships of any form.

The scripture focus is Ruth 2: 23 which reads, “Ruth worked alongside the women in Boaz’s fields and gathered grain with them until the end of the barley harvest. Then she continued working with them through the wheat harvest in early summer. And all the while she lived with her mother-in-law.”

After doing some research on harvesting, I found that depending on if the harvest starts in spring or autumn it generally takes 4-8 months for wheat to mature. So, Ruth and Boaz remained cordial as she continued to serve and walk in purpose without falling completely off course by distractions. Please read Ruth Chapter 2 in its entirety to gain better insight into this scripture and story. In our generation, sometimes we are more eager to please our eye gates that we fail to look beyond today and determine if a person desires to please God or us as a potential mate. Looking beyond today means does their character show qualities that would be fruitful 5-10-20 years down the line. You must discern if they truly desire to serve you, protect you, preserve you and provide for you in a holistic manner. All of these character traits can be revealed within a short time span and or a long time span depending on what your focus is on.

Learn to identify early when people do not value what you do. Observe what they value and how they nurture relationships.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

1. Who am I at my core (not who people say you are)?

2. What are my values, and core beliefs on dating and marriage?

3. What am I looking for in a mate?

4. Who can I honestly consult with regarding these areas of my life?

5. What boundaries do I have in place in regard to dating and how can I improve them?